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‘I take karaoke seriously. I’ve got a good falsetto’: Asim Chaudhry’s honest playlist

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The actor and writer used to be obsessed with Michael Jackson and loves Teddy Pendergrass, but which rap banger does truly inhabit when passed the mic?
The first song I fell in love with
I was obsessed with Michael Jackson as a kid, to the point where we went to Butlin’s and there was a thing where they’d record you in a music video in front of a green screen, and I did Thriller. I just loved the synths, funk and disco but also the horror.
My karaoke go-to
Juicy by Notorious BIG. I take it very seriously. It’s not a karaoke, it is a performance. This is my moment. I might ask a female to do the chorus, if not, I’ll do it. I’ve got a good falsetto.
The first single I bought
Fuck Tha Police by NWA, on export, from HMV on Hounslow high street, which doesn’t exist any more. When I was on Jobseeker’s allowance, we would put “I’ve given my CV into HMV”. When HMV closed, there was a panic because they said: “Just as a little FYI, you can’t put HMV on your Jobseeker’s any more.”
The song I can no longer listen to
You’ve got to take out all the Diddy stuff, don’t you? There’s not even that many great Diddy songs because really it was all Biggie and Mace writing for him. The same with R Kelly. Ignition is an absolute banger, but we can’t play it any more.
The song I inexplicably know every lyric to
The What by Biggie Smalls ft Method Man. My friend Nix used to do the Method Man lyrics, and I’d do Biggie’s. Nix knows that’s our favourite song, so he framed out the lyrics for me.
The best song to have sex to
Having sex to a song is so cheesy, it makes me feel gross. Music and sex are two different things. Having sex to any song is weird. But for sexy songs, Teddy Pendergrass has the sexiest voice of all time. Love TKO is a great song. Or maybe some Luther Vandross or some Marvin Gaye.
The song that changed my life
Get Out the Way by Kurupt FM, which we made in our original YouTube series. I remember the birth of that song and the whole process. It’s so stupid, it’s hilarious. The first gig we ever got booked for was in a London warehouse, and we had only had one song, so we did that.
The song that gets me up in the morning
Hot 8 Brass Band’s rendition of Sexual Healing is just amazing. It’s like eight minutes long and gradually gets more and more energetic. By the end, you’re fully up.
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The song I secretly like but tell everyone I hate
Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes, because of the third verse. The premise is a guy wants to cheat on his wife, he puts out an ad in the paper, this mystery woman responds to him, then in the third verse, they meet and he realises it’s his wife. It’s such a cop-out. I bet the label made him change it so he wasn’t promoting cheating, but I do love the song.
The song I want played at my funeral
Lovely Day by Bill Withers fills me with joy. Funerals shouldn’t be down at the dumps. You should have a wake, really celebrate someone’s life and have a big piss-up. That’s what it’s about.
Listen Up! is on Viaplay on 4 November.

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