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Checking my emails at every possible opportunity had become distracting and draining. So I set myself new boundaries
As a freelance writer, the structure of my work day can often vary wildly. Sometimes, it feels as if I have too much to do – other days, too little.
Yet no matter the shape of my 9 to 5, one thing remains constant: emails. I receive about 100 a day, ranging from the inane (Tesco Clubcard updates) to the infuriating (the PR who keeps sending me the fluctuating numbers of Taylor Swift’s Instagram following) and the important (editors, often wondering when the piece they have asked me to write might materialise).
Typically, the first thing I do after turning off my phone alarm in the morning is check my emails – and the last thing I do before I put my phone away at night is open my email app to clear any unread missives. Throughout the day, my phone buzzes and, always assuming it’s something important, I check it.
About a year ago, I found the tic of email-checking had become more distracting than usual. I would spend each morning “toilet scrolling” to respond to overnight messages and, when I sat at my computer to work, I found myself nervously checking my phone for unread emails every time I hit a mental block. I also accessed emails on my computer, but, for some reason, I would end up looking at the push notifications of my phone app twice as often.
Worst of all, when I took time out to eat lunch or go for a walk, that habit of checking or anticipating the buzz of a message would come with me, making my breaks an extension of the work day.
The little red dot next to my Gmail app had become a marker of my professional persona: the higher the number of unread emails, the more I felt as if I wasn’t doing a good job. As long as I was quick to respond to the people who needed me, I told myself, I would keep being seen as reliable by my paymasters and therefore worthy of the work I needed to pay my electricity bill, so I could charge my phone, read my emails and carry on the endless cycle.
Except speed doesn’t always mean quality. I was always contactable – but at what cost? I had begun responding too quickly, taking on too much work and not leaving myself space to think about the worth of what I was producing. The content machine churned and I was busy, spewing word salad on to the internet.
Something needed to change. After a particularly frantic week of nonstop emailing, I decided to delete the email app on my phone.
The first few days without the buzz of notifications made me feel skittish – I worried I was missing out on opportunities and checked emails on my laptop as much as I could instead. When I took breaks, though, the difference was immediately noticeable. As I was physically away from my computer, I found myself forced to think of things other than work, or simply not think at all. I began to rest and reset better. My quality of sleep improved, the lingering content of night-time messages no longer playing on my mind.
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Now, my work days are still unpredictable, but I have realised that a lack of structure needn’t stop me setting boundaries for myself. Uninterrupted breaks help me focus when I get back to work and I have found that leaving a few hours, rather than minutes, to respond to a message often makes no difference to the sender and allows me to digest its content properly.
I am still surviving as a freelancer in a fast-paced industry, but I feel less overwhelmed knowing that I can take space when I need it. Now, I can spend my time endlessly checking my phone for Instagram stories and X spats instead.
How I beat overwhelm: I deleted my email app – and my sleep suddenly improved
